For years I have felt alone and not worthy of God’s love. I watched women come into my life who had the radiance of God pouring out from them. Oh, how I longed to be like them. Yes I was jealous, because I wanted that. I wanted to feel the sweetness that came from their soul to pour out of mine as well.
Clueless as to how one becomes God sweetened, I found myself praying that God would fill me. That I too would become the vessel of love that these women in my life portrayed. Yet, it did not come. I did not know the secret. Nor did I know how one found the secret to being God sweetened.
Days have gone by and I still longed for the sweetness and the love of the Father to radiate throughout me. Would I ever feel the way I thought these women felt? Would my life ever exemplify the love that these women show me and those around them.
God sweetened – that was what I long to be.
Eventually I did learn the secret to how one becomes God sweetened. It was revealed to me as I drove to a “training event”. I was so nervous and anxious. I did not know anyone there. It is in a town an hour and a half away from my home. I was totally out of my comfort zone. I could feel my anxiety rising and I knew that the only way I would get through this weekend was by the grace of God. Only I knew that while God’s grace would get me through the weekend. If I truly wanted to feel His presence and bask completely in His love it was going to cost me something.
You see I have been wrestling with God for years and every fiber in my being knew that he was requiring one thing from me –
One thing I have struggled to give-
One thing that my control nature –
One thing that my sin nature –
One thing my flesh did not want to let go of –
That thing was MYSELF! He was requiring me to surrender all to Him. This is not easy. This is not fun. This is not what I want to do. Every part of me wants to control the reigns. To drive my own vehicle to my own destiny. To live my life according to my own terms. To guide my own path. To see the future I WANT.
Yet, there is a yearning in my soul. A calling on my life that I have run from since I was a child. A calling to surrender all. To give up all.
As I pulled into the parking lot I have up my weekend, my wants, my desires, and placed them in His hands. In return I found the secret to how one becomes God sweetened.
To be God sweetened you have to surrender. You have to align your heart with His. Then you will taste what I can only describe as pure joy. A joy that overcomes, that shines into the darkest parts of your soul and brings life to the hurt. To the pain. To those places that you keep buried deep inside.
Only once I allow Him to penetrate every part of my being can I become the woman God has called me to be.
Only once I surrender it ALL can I be God sweetened.
“So he cried out to Adonai, and Adonai showed him a tree. When he threw it into the waters, they were made sweet.” ~ Exodus 15:25 TLV
“Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture says, ‘out of his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” ~ John 7:38 TLV